New Faculty/Staff Q&A: Meet Justin Maloney

To get to know our new faculty and staff a little better, we asked them to answer a few questions from the Proust Questionnaire — the famous questionnaire that Vanity Fair asks celebrities on its back page. Here, we learn a little more about Upper School Math and History Faculty Justin Maloney. A former litigation attorney who teaches Mock Trial here at the Academy, Maloney earned his bachelor’s degree from Providence College and his law degree from Boston College Law School. 

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 

This is going to sound a bit odd (par for the course, considering the author here), but I think it would be hosting a wonderful party. I feel happiest when I am able to make sure that the people around me are well-fed, smiling, and generally enjoying themselves. 

What is your greatest fear? 

My greatest fear is progressive mental decline. I have watched people I love slowly morph into people I barely recognize and who barely recognize me. The thought that my fate could be the same weighs on me more than one might suspect, and it terrifies me more than any boogeyman ever could.

Which talent would you most like to have? 

I would love to be genuinely good at at least one major sport. I don’t want to be a professional athlete, but I’d like to be something more than a liability in a pickup game of something! 

Where would you most like to live? 

Wherever my loved ones are. COVID-19 kept me separated from my family for what felt like eons, and I never want to experience that again. A Massachusetts suburb with my favorite people is far preferable to an Aruba beach with only me, myself, and I. That said, if I could move everyone I love down with me, Aruba all the way!

What is your most treasured possession? 

Two ticket stubs from the first movie I attended with my now-wife. Going to see that movie was the first time we went out together. I remember cleaning out my pockets later that night and finding the stubs. Ordinarily, I would have thrown them away, but I saved them; I think on some level I knew that they would mark my last first date.

What do you most value in your friends? 

Authenticity. How can I call you a friend if I don’t truly know you? I don’t want to be an acquaintance of a persona you created to be liked by others. Establishing and maintaining genuine connections with other human beings is my raison d’être. 

What is your motto?  

“Do the right thing at the right time because it’s the right thing to do, regardless of who’s watching.”

Justin Maloney Thayer Academy

Upper School Math and History Faculty Justin Maloney. 


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